








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2240 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1817 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1405 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,452 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Vyn | 49% | 148 |
| #5 | Schnufli | 48% | 155 |
| #6 | Dr. James Wilson | 45% | 238 |
| #7 | Kufuru | 42% | 116 |
| #8 | Yuki | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. James Wilson | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Schnufli | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Kufuru | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Vyn | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Yuki | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. James Wilson | 524 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Vyn | 360 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kufuru | 354 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Schnufli | 90 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dr. Eric Foreman | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Eric Foreman | +5.16 | 48 | 49 |
| #2 | Dr. James Wilson | +1.33 | 31 | 55 |
| #3 | Vyn | +0.65 | 31 | 61 |
| #4 | Yuki | +0.08 | 27 | 48 |
| #5 | Kufuru | -0.09 | 25 | 51 |





