








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6443 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7277 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5830 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5641 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,685,625 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 691 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kufuru | 31 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Schnufli | 31 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Bocchi the Glock | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Vyn | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ypph | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kufuru | 1052 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | Vyn | 721 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Bocchi the Glock | 322 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | ypph | 311 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #5 | Schnufli | 193 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ypph | +5.73 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | Dr. Eric Foreman | +3.47 | 44 | 40 |
| #3 | Dr. James Wilson | +1.05 | 32 | 59 |
| #4 | Spejson | +0.45 | 24 | 58 |
| #5 | Yuki | +0.16 | 32 | 47 |





