








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1029 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 175 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8923 | 20% |
| Smokes | 12141 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 11472 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 12668 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,186,066 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sʍiℓy | 58% | 128 |
| #2 | SMECTA | 52% | 93 |
| #3 | LGDS | 51% | 130 |
| #4 | LE most. | 50% | 114 |
| #5 | Ziva | 50% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Phûûcc✔ | 43% | 376 |
| #16 | La casa des papouilles | 43% | 127 |
| #17 | R2 | 42% | 270 |
| #18 | ✪ $ilvesteR | 42% | 186 |
| #19 | AkA | 42% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ziva | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | /// /\ | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Skwi | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | LGDS | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | SMECTA | 9 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phûûcc✔ | 2218 | 0.28 | 68 min |
| #2 | xpRim | 1972 | 0.23 | 48 min |
| #3 | /// /\ | 1404 | 0.29 | 41 min |
| #4 | Blunk | 1039 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #5 | Skwi | 958 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sʍiℓy | +5.19 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | SMECTA | +2.83 | 93 | 57 |
| #3 | Blunk | +2.26 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | La casa des papouilles | +1.87 | 84 | 73 |
| #5 | /// /\ | +1.27 | 82 | 70 |





