








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 622 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6147 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3741 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7717 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5563 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,749,302 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | 67% | 66 |
| #2 | Tosi | 61% | 75 |
| #3 | Sʍiℓy | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | Metr1ckZ | 55% | 118 |
| #5 | R2 | 54% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Phûûcc✔ | 44% | 275 |
| #15 | xpRim | 44% | 165 |
| #16 | FLAGADA ツ | 42% | 293 |
| #17 | ✪ $ilvesteR | 38% | 106 |
| #18 | Skwi | 38% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosi | 16 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Metr1ckZ | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | FLAGADA ツ | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Phûûcc✔ | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | SMECTA | 9 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phûûcc✔ | 1514 | 0.27 | 45 min |
| #2 | Blunk | 1443 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #3 | xpRim | 832 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #4 | Skwi | 683 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #5 | FLAGADA ツ | 559 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sʍiℓy | +4.60 | 93 | 66 |
| #2 | ✪-Swag | +4.45 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | SMECTA | +2.63 | 92 | 57 |
| #4 | Blunk | +1.85 | 75 | 69 |
| #5 | Tosi | +1.83 | 82 | 67 |





