








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Faceit | 234 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9203 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7428 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5455 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7135 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,691,510 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Stew | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | ViTaX | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | NoxX | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | Sonyally | 53% | 156 |
| #5 | HawKzGER | 53% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | iT´s_noobY™ summacum.works | 50% | 103 |
| #9 | *FUCHS* | 49% | 67 |
| #10 | Nimble | 45% | 51 |
| #11 | Gru | 44% | 232 |
| #12 | faberhahn | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iT´s_noobY™ summacum.works | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Gru | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | nefar1o | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | *FUCHS* | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Nimble | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nefar1o | 1285 | 0.26 | 35 min |
| #2 | Gru | 670 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Sonyally | 405 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | iT´s_noobY™ summacum.works | 405 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | *FUCHS* | 395 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Stew | +1.91 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | HawKzGER | +1.45 | 62 | 61 |
| #3 | Gru | +1.33 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | NoxX | +1.20 | 84 | 74 |
| #5 | r0bat | +1.18 | 83 | 54 |





