








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7323 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4132 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6592 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4451 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,926,443 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 599 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CURRY | 72% | 46 |
| #2 | Krati | 63% | 134 |
| #3 | HarryNB | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | Phillybeef | 52% | 265 |
| #5 | Baumi | 51% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Baumi | 51% | 175 |
| #6 | Gru | 46% | 176 |
| #7 | nefar1o | 46% | 140 |
| #8 | Rody | 44% | 197 |
| #9 | *FUCHS* | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillybeef | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Rody | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Krati | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | nefar1o | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Baumi | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillybeef | 1458 | 0.27 | 41 min |
| #2 | nefar1o | 929 | 0.30 | 26 min |
| #3 | Gru | 522 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | Baumi | 457 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Rody | 259 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tempLando | +1.75 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | Krati | +1.67 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | Gru | +1.20 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | CURRY | +0.09 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | Phillybeef | -0.13 | 64 | 77 |





