








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1022 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 302 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 66,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20584 | 31% |
| Smokes | 17020 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 14283 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 14685 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,471,699 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubby | 56% | 277 |
| #2 | Arch | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | Cebri | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | Ozzer | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | JKyle21 | 52% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cebri | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | Ozzer | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | JKyle21 | 52% | 255 |
| #6 | Globalik | 46% | 91 |
| #7 | ♿Better Call Walls | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKyle21 | 50 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Nubby | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ♿Better Call Walls | 16 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Ozzer | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Globalik | 9 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubby | 1024 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | JKyle21 | 955 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #3 | Globalik | 489 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #4 | Ozzer | 259 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Arch | 246 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozzer | +1.64 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | Nubby | +1.46 | 41 | 68 |
| #3 | ♿Better Call Walls | +0.94 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | JKyle21 | +0.68 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Cebri | +0.18 | 55 | 54 |





