








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1176 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14587 | 27% |
| Smokes | 13686 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11543 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 14225 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,049,769 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | icy | 56% | 277 |
| #2 | Arch | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | JKyle21 | 54% | 276 |
| #4 | Globalik | 54% | 85 |
| #5 | ♿Better Call Walls | 53% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKyle21 | 45 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | icy | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ♿Better Call Walls | 20 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | TRAV | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Globalik | 10 | 0.0055 |





