








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 770 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5875 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8491 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8466 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6817 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,336,115 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | dNz | 48% | 196 |
| #8 | Arch | 47% | 131 |
| #9 | JKyle21 | 43% | 69 |
| #10 | Nubby | 43% | 44 |
| #11 | selmitza! | 36% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozzer | +1.05 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | dNz | +0.63 | 49 | 57 |
| #3 | Nubby | +0.56 | 41 | 62 |
| #4 | ✪︎bendalabendo | +0.52 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | JKyle21 | +0.00 | 74 | 57 |





