








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 721 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7607 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7068 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7199 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5190 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,565 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKyle21 | 56% | 107 |
| #2 | thanke97 | 55% | 129 |
| #3 | icy | 54% | 79 |
| #4 | Nubby | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | ✪︎bendalabendo | 52% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cebri | 43 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | JKyle21 | 23 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | thanke97 | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Ozzer | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | icy | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cebri | 1191 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #2 | ✪︎bendalabendo | 560 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | JKyle21 | 436 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ozzer | 329 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | icy | 325 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKyle21 | +1.55 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | thanke97 | +1.18 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Ozzer | +0.45 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | ✪︎bendalabendo | +0.14 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | Nubby | +0.14 | 33 | 73 |





