








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8772 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5632 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5643 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4980 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,649,515 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | facebook.com/THEKERSER | 49% | 47 |
| #10 | ahalfeatenant | 45% | 95 |
| #11 | Daaayyuuum | 45% | 115 |
| #12 | bobbywitdatool | 38% | 45 |
| #13 | eustace | 36% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zm0z | 25 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | B3 | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Two Fn Dogs | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | phyz | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | bobbywitdatool | 7 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zm0z | 1464 | 0.21 | 38 min |
| #2 | B3 | 481 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | phyz | 427 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | Physkx | 324 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Daaayyuuum | 253 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linksy | +5.53 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | OVERS33R | +2.99 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | zm0z | +2.00 | 72 | 72 |
| #4 | facebook.com/THEKERSER | +1.92 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | B3 | +1.49 | 79 | 58 |





