








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7945 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8170 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7137 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5674 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,836,904 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phyz | 57% | 165 |
| #2 | OVERS33R | 55% | 145 |
| #3 | Physkx | 55% | 204 |
| #4 | Dots | 55% | 168 |
| #5 | zm0z | 53% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dots | 25 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | zm0z | 22 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Two Fn Dogs | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ahalfeatenant | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Physkx | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zm0z | 1254 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #2 | Dots | 534 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Daaayyuuum | 373 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | ahalfeatenant | 354 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | Physkx | 335 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OVERS33R | +2.42 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | zm0z | +1.46 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | phyz | +0.79 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | Physkx | +0.72 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | B3 | +0.47 | 75 | 59 |





