








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1097 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1012 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 842 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1006 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,061,300 of utility $272 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiSh | 77% | 47 |
| #2 | V1ndY_ | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 76% | 76 |
| #4 | Piss Kink | 74% | 34 |
| #5 | sted- | 72% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 76% | 76 |
| #4 | Piss Kink | 74% | 34 |
| #5 | sted- | 72% | 67 |
| #6 | Simagule | 71% | 41 |
| #7 | Nayf | 70% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sted- | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | FiSh | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Nayf | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Simagule | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nayf | 193 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | FiSh | 180 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 176 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | sted- | 174 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Simagule | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sted- | +5.55 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | ☁︎ Raiden | +2.17 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | FiSh | +1.69 | 59 | 76 |
| #4 | Nayf | +1.62 | 83 | 75 |
| #5 | Simagule | +0.33 | 71 | 65 |





