








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1079 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 600 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4583 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5128 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2421 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 6069 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,653,861 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dabble | 76% | 76 |
| #2 | Pluzo | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | sted- | 56% | 293 |
| #4 | Simagule | 56% | 190 |
| #5 | Piss Kink | 56% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Piss Kink | 56% | 106 |
| #6 | hAze | 54% | 98 |
| #7 | Nayf | 52% | 490 |
| #8 | FiSh | 52% | 532 |
| #9 | V1ndY_ | 52% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sted- | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | FiSh | 11 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Dabble | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Nayf | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Simagule | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nayf | 2057 | 0.19 | 60 min |
| #2 | FiSh | 1788 | 0.15 | 49 min |
| #3 | sted- | 817 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #4 | V1ndY_ | 805 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #5 | hAze | 465 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sted- | +3.18 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | hAze | +1.15 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | FiSh | +0.14 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | Pluzo | +0.10 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | ☁︎ Raiden | -0.04 | 80 | 59 |





