








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 821 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 497 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7594 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7799 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6494 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7656 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,518,002 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dabble | 77% | 47 |
| #2 | Piss Kink | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | sted- | 55% | 241 |
| #4 | ☁︎ Raiden | 52% | 532 |
| #5 | Nayf | 50% | 422 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ☁︎ Raiden | 52% | 532 |
| #5 | Nayf | 50% | 422 |
| #6 | hAze | 49% | 72 |
| #7 | Simagule | 48% | 89 |
| #8 | V1ndY_ | 47% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sted- | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ☁︎ Raiden | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Dabble | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Nayf | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | V1ndY_ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nayf | 1829 | 0.20 | 54 min |
| #2 | ☁︎ Raiden | 1287 | 0.11 | 38 min |
| #3 | sted- | 633 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #4 | V1ndY_ | 545 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #5 | hAze | 326 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sted- | +2.90 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | hAze | +0.58 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | FiSh | +0.53 | 62 | 73 |
| #4 | Nayf | -0.27 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | ☁︎ Raiden | -0.33 | 80 | 60 |





