








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 905 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 274 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3167 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3164 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1716 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2941 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,070 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dabble | 72% | 67 |
| #2 | Pluzo | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 56% | 293 |
| #4 | FiSh | 55% | 241 |
| #5 | Simagule | 54% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Simagule | 54% | 81 |
| #6 | Nayf | 52% | 219 |
| #7 | Piss Kink | 50% | 54 |
| #8 | V1ndY_ | 47% | 92 |
| #9 | hAze | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁︎ Raiden | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Dabble | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | FiSh | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Simagule | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | V1ndY_ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nayf | 1048 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | FiSh | 775 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 657 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | V1ndY_ | 447 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #5 | Simagule | 236 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sted- | +3.46 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | hAze | +0.58 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | FiSh | +0.04 | 58 | 73 |
| #4 | Pluzo | -0.33 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | Nayf | -0.51 | 78 | 78 |





