








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1119 | 33% |
| Smokes | 753 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 675 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 891 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,584 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dabble | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | FiSh | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 56% | 106 |
| #4 | Simagule | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | sted- | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Simagule | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | sted- | 50% | 54 |
| #6 | Nayf | 50% | 66 |
| #7 | V1ndY_ | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | hAze | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nayf | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ☁︎ Raiden | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | FiSh | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Simagule | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Dabble | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nayf | 253 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | FiSh | 234 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | ☁︎ Raiden | 227 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | sted- | 155 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | V1ndY_ | 96 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hAze | +4.73 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | sted- | +2.99 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | FiSh | +0.82 | 58 | 75 |
| #4 | ☁︎ Raiden | +0.73 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Nayf | +0.01 | 77 | 75 |





