








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4653 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4559 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3029 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4146 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,079 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | aaronsfury | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | efee | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | Jimmy | 59% | 112 |
| #5 | d4gger | 49% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | aaronsfury | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | efee | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | Jimmy | 59% | 112 |
| #5 | d4gger | 49% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy | 15 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | d4gger | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | aaronsfury | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | efee | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy | 409 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | aaronsfury | 139 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 127 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | d4gger | 125 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | efee | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philipek | +2.70 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | aaronsfury | +2.19 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | +0.39 | 89 | 56 |
| #4 | Jimmy | -0.19 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | efee | -0.83 | 86 | 59 |





