








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 678 | 33% |
| Smokes | 296 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 617 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 453 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,941 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philipek | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Jimmy | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | d4gger | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | ybf | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philipek | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Jimmy | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | d4gger | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | ybf | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Philipek | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | ybf | 2 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy | 134 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 127 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Philipek | 101 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | d4gger | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | ybf | 15 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philipek | +3.05 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | +0.57 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | efee | -0.07 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | Jimmy | -0.25 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | d4gger | -2.87 | 56 | 39 |





