








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1471 | 34% |
| Smokes | 749 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1283 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 851 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,464 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Philipek | 59% | 112 |
| #3 | efee | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | d4gger | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Philipek | 59% | 112 |
| #3 | efee | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | d4gger | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philipek | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | d4gger | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | efee | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philipek | 434 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 161 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | efee | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | d4gger | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philipek | +3.47 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | +0.47 | 88 | 54 |
| #3 | Jimmy | -0.13 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | efee | -0.18 | 89 | 63 |
| #5 | d4gger | -3.06 | 59 | 42 |





