








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1205 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1015 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1902 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,481,618 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | letsmakeout23 | 56% | 98 |
| #2 | james | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Joe Cool | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | crybaby radio | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | mackee | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Joe Cool | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | crybaby radio | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | mackee | 49% | 75 |
| #6 | Silver Medal Frotlympian | 43% | 49 |
| #7 | GlocNessMonster | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | letsmakeout23 | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | crybaby radio | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | mackee | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Silver Medal Frotlympian | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | james | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | letsmakeout23 | 410 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | crybaby radio | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Joe Cool | 268 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | GlocNessMonster | 228 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | james | 89 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crybaby radio | +5.25 | 55 | 60 |
| #2 | james | +4.94 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | letsmakeout23 | +2.62 | 53 | 58 |
| #4 | mackee | +1.56 | 82 | 34 |
| #5 | GlocNessMonster | +1.05 | 41 | 51 |





