










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3525 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2635 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4073 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1652 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,754,505 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | letsmakeout23 | 54% | 142 |
| #2 | Silver Medal Frotlympian | 53% | 59 |
| #3 | Literal Whore | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | Joe Cool | 49% | 98 |
| #5 | GlocNessMonster | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Literal Whore | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | Joe Cool | 49% | 98 |
| #5 | GlocNessMonster | 49% | 72 |
| #6 | mackee | 47% | 68 |
| #7 | james | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | letsmakeout23 | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Literal Whore | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | james | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | mackee | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Joe Cool | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | letsmakeout23 | 589 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Joe Cool | 302 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | GlocNessMonster | 241 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | james | 141 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Literal Whore | 100 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james | +5.27 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | crybaby radio | +2.44 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | letsmakeout23 | +1.01 | 47 | 56 |
| #4 | mackee | +0.87 | 81 | 39 |
| #5 | GlocNessMonster | -0.71 | 45 | 52 |





