








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6964 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6235 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4746 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4712 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $981,190 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 727 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SINI♡ | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | ukko | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | MiNtBlAsUb | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | LateePatee CS.MONEY | 60% | 65 |
| #5 | Merkataan | 58% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | k1tten | 58% | 55 |
| #7 | condom king | 57% | 92 |
| #8 | My Banan | 55% | 38 |
| #9 | S4MI | 55% | 58 |
| #10 | Lawn mewer | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My Banan | 12 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Lawn mewer | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | condom king | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | SINI♡ | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | LateePatee CS.MONEY | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lawn mewer | 238 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | MiNtBlAsUb | 193 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | S4MI | 178 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | condom king | 118 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | LateePatee CS.MONEY | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ukko | +2.58 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | k1tten | +2.36 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | Demon. <9 | +2.30 | 72 | 79 |
| #4 | MiNtBlAsUb | +2.24 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | LateePatee CS.MONEY | +1.49 | 71 | 69 |





