








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 204 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4718 | 18% |
| Smokes | 10426 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 7557 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3283 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,690,789 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | V | 44% | 63 |
| #6 | FishNuts | 42% | 60 |
| #7 | vasheeesh | 37% | 174 |
| #8 | MeasleyPigeon | 36% | 55 |
| #9 | ITSnuthun | 23% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasheeesh | 202 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | MeasleyPigeon | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | FishNuts | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | V | 114 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gut Cassidy | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gut Cassidy | +6.16 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | Shifty | +4.03 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | FishNuts | +2.48 | 86 | 53 |
| #4 | V | +2.04 | 61 | 52 |
| #5 | vasheeesh | +0.46 | 46 | 54 |





