








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7570 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3054 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5285 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3396 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,782 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaycums | 59% | 56 |
| #2 | Mikey6er | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | (VloneThug) William | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | nicky | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | Nico | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasheeesh | 43 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | MeasleyPigeon | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | nicky | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | blue_gurl99 | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | koolaid252 | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeasleyPigeon | 338 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | nicky | 292 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | (VloneThug) William | 287 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | vasheeesh | 242 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | blue_gurl99 | 174 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaycums | +3.32 | 81 | 38 |
| #2 | FishNuts | +2.53 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | (VloneThug) William | +1.30 | 50 | 67 |
| #4 | V | +1.11 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | vasheeesh | +0.82 | 49 | 54 |





