








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 786 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 398 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10319 | 25% |
| Smokes | 12921 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 11849 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6070 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,774,112 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nico | 53% | 164 |
| #2 | JayNades | 50% | 145 |
| #3 | blue_gurl99 | 44% | 105 |
| #4 | Gut Cassidy | 43% | 145 |
| #5 | V | 41% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasheeesh | 429 | 0.04 | 11 min |
| #2 | Gut Cassidy | 336 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | FishNuts | 335 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | JayNades | 302 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Shifty | 264 | 0.11 | 6 min |





