








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5220 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2712 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 6054 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4546 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,884 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsTheKatara | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | vasheeesh | 49% | 147 |
| #3 | Shifty | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | Yaycums | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | Canadian Warlock | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | FishNuts | 44% | 87 |
| #7 | koolaid252 | 43% | 72 |
| #8 | Gut Cassidy | 42% | 53 |
| #9 | MeasleyPigeon | 41% | 109 |
| #10 | RockNRoller | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasheeesh | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | MeasleyPigeon | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Canadian Warlock | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Yaycums | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | FishNuts | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FishNuts | 240 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | MeasleyPigeon | 225 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Canadian Warlock | 153 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gut Cassidy | 135 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | vasheeesh | 129 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gut Cassidy | +4.47 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | Shifty | +2.98 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | FishNuts | +1.78 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | V | +1.57 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | Yaycums | +1.44 | 83 | 39 |





