








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2841 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5421 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3445 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3298 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,432 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conquest | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | CHILLO_PUTI_KILLER | 70% | 69 |
| #3 | Valefarβ‘ | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | β£οΈAchilles | 63% | 43 |
| #5 | Tyler | 62% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NO 1 LIKE ME | 25 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | ππ€π£ππ§ππ | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Tyler | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | D | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Conquest | 4 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππΌπππ_ igotHacked | 375 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | ππ€π£ππ§ππ | 300 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | NO 1 LIKE ME | 274 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | D | 216 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tyler | 170 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r!zzla|king | +3.77 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | CHILLO_PUTI_KILLER | +1.72 | 74 | 32 |
| #3 | NO 1 LIKE ME | +1.56 | 53 | 50 |
| #4 | Valefarβ‘ | +0.53 | 41 | 53 |
| #5 | D | +0.49 | 56 | 60 |





