








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 204 matches | ||
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1039 | 6% |
| Smokes | 4056 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8411 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 5005 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,048,352 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππΌπππ_ igotHacked | 60% | 131 |
| #2 | Valefarβ‘ | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | ππ€π£ππ§ππ | 60% | 152 |
| #4 | NO 1 LIKE ME | 57% | 179 |
| #5 | β£οΈAchilles | 51% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NO 1 LIKE ME | 25 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ππ€π£ππ§ππ | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Tyler | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | β£οΈAchilles | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | r!zzla|king | 8 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ€π£ππ§ππ | 415 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | β£οΈAchilles | 379 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | ππΌπππ_ igotHacked | 352 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | NO 1 LIKE ME | 351 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tyler | 240 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r!zzla|king | +4.05 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | NO 1 LIKE ME | +2.89 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | ππ€π£ππ§ππ | +2.14 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | Valefarβ‘ | +1.06 | 44 | 56 |
| #5 | D | +0.71 | 53 | 57 |





