








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4577 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4846 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3734 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4622 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,015,736 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 503 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mastus | 49% | 97 |
| #9 | Nexuz | 48% | 179 |
| #10 | Sjop | 47% | 60 |
| #11 | Fripop ❟❛❟ | 46% | 99 |
| #12 | ilikememes♡ | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexuz | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | 2bi2 | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | TurboRunk♿ | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Tox1c_Fla1r | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Fripop ❟❛❟ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tox1c_Fla1r | 1361 | 0.29 | 39 min |
| #2 | 2bi2 | 761 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | Nexuz | 683 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | mastus | 462 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #5 | kreyzi | 328 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emil | +2.65 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | NAKO LFT | +2.60 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | mastus | +1.86 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | Tox1c_Fla1r | +1.65 | 66 | 75 |
| #5 | kreyzi | +1.49 | 76 | 63 |





