








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5339 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4113 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2472 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3297 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,209 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nozza | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | ✪MATHIAS | 59% | 115 |
| #3 | HxRL | 56% | 57 |
| #4 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 55% | 164 |
| #5 | Spartan | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Spartan | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | ASmoothCriminal | 48% | 66 |
| #7 | JustGary | 45% | 40 |
| #8 | Sweet Beef | 45% | 85 |
| #9 | Whippopotamus | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Sweet Beef | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Whippopotamus | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ASmoothCriminal | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ✪MATHIAS | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 445 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sweet Beef | 251 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Whippopotamus | 169 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪MATHIAS | 115 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | JustGary | 109 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | +2.41 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | ✨ Luz | +2.28 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | Sweet Beef | -0.76 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | Nozza | -1.53 | 33 | 50 |
| #5 | Whippopotamus | -1.58 | 60 | 67 |





