








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 647 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3383 | 13% |
| Smokes | 7408 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6500 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8946 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,959,820 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HxRL | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 59% | 365 |
| #3 | ✨ Luz | 59% | 115 |
| #4 | Spartan | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | ASmoothCriminal | 55% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ASmoothCriminal | 55% | 132 |
| #6 | Sweet Beef | 54% | 314 |
| #7 | Nozza | 52% | 67 |
| #8 | Whippopotamus | 50% | 412 |
| #9 | JustGary | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whippopotamus | 21 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Sweet Beef | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ✨ Luz | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ASmoothCriminal | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whippopotamus | 1052 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #2 | Sweet Beef | 917 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #3 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 876 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #4 | ✨ Luz | 752 | 0.30 | 17 min |
| #5 | JustGary | 270 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | +3.41 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | ✨ Luz | +2.62 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | Whippopotamus | +0.14 | 63 | 75 |
| #4 | Sweet Beef | -0.12 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | JustGary | -0.46 | 72 | 68 |





