








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1601 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2176 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2110 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2087 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,739,801 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nozza | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Fencer1223 | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Bones | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Spartan | 57% | 95 |
| #5 | HxRL | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sweet Beef | 51% | 217 |
| #9 | t0ro | 49% | 37 |
| #10 | ✨ Luz | 48% | 66 |
| #11 | Whippopotamus | 47% | 159 |
| #12 | JustGary | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whippopotamus | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Sweet Beef | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ✨ Luz | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | ✪MATHIAS | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | 732 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sweet Beef | 644 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Whippopotamus | 412 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✨ Luz | 398 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #5 | Spartan | 248 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joon_Jon ジュンジョン | +3.41 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | ✨ Luz | +3.10 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | Sweet Beef | +0.12 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | Whippopotamus | -0.20 | 61 | 73 |
| #5 | Nozza | -0.40 | 42 | 47 |





