








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1475 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1660 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1238 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,760 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaK | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Gebrochen | 47% | 45 |
| #3 | Seikei | 47% | 129 |
| #4 | grrrrr törken | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gebrochen | 47% | 45 |
| #3 | Seikei | 47% | 129 |
| #4 | grrrrr törken | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 46% | 76 |
| #6 | RichwieeinFrederik | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 29 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | grrrrr törken | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Gebrochen | 11 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | RichwieeinFrederik | 7 | 0.0240 |
| #5 | Seikei | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seikei | 422 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | grrrrr törken | 309 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 254 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gebrochen | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | RaK | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaK | +2.71 | 71 | 44 |
| #2 | Bilchmann1 | +1.07 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | grrrrr törken | +0.12 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | Seikei | -0.47 | 53 | 67 |
| #5 | Gebrochen | -1.28 | 54 | 38 |





