








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 925 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1516 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1284 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1075 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 581 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $732,715 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximilian Schrödinger | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 48% | 114 |
| #3 | grrrrr törken | 39% | 46 |
| #4 | Bilchmann1 | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximilian Schrödinger | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 48% | 114 |
| #3 | grrrrr törken | 39% | 46 |
| #4 | Bilchmann1 | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 51 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | grrrrr törken | 18 | 0.0206 |
| #3 | Bilchmann1 | 9 | 0.0307 |
| #4 | Maximilian Schrödinger | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | 290 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | grrrrr törken | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Maximilian Schrödinger | 55 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bilchmann1 | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grrrrr törken | +1.28 | 75 | 49 |
| #2 | RichwieeinFrederik | +1.10 | 67 | 37 |
| #3 | [türkiye = TROLL] mr. bigspin | +0.91 | 37 | 56 |
| #4 | Bilchmann1 | +0.21 | 63 | 50 |
| #5 | Maximilian Schrödinger | -1.15 | 48 | 61 |





