








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2797 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4464 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4067 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3460 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,496,187 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epitaph | 60% | 104 |
| #2 | Jaxon ll | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | RXPK | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Oh™ | 54% | 221 |
| #5 | ITzJooi | 53% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RXPK | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Oh™ | 54% | 221 |
| #5 | ITzJooi | 53% | 219 |
| #6 | Jim | 51% | 89 |
| #7 | ✘ savant | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oh™ | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Jim | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ITzJooi | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Epitaph | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ✘ savant | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITzJooi | 815 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | Oh™ | 445 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Epitaph | 327 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jim | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | RXPK | 141 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✘ savant | +3.36 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | ITzJooi | +2.01 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Epitaph | +0.80 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | Jim | +0.62 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | LWalker101 | -0.25 | 74 | 52 |





