








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3893 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2305 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1276 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,687,220 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aw Latin | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Musashi | 50% | 206 |
| #3 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 49% | 293 |
| #4 | manu | 49% | 135 |
| #5 | glhf | 47% | 268 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Musashi | 50% | 206 |
| #3 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 49% | 293 |
| #4 | manu | 49% | 135 |
| #5 | glhf | 47% | 268 |
| #6 | [DE] Iokly | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glhf | 29 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 28 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Musashi | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | manu | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | aw Latin | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 570 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | glhf | 335 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Musashi | 278 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | manu | 96 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | aw Latin | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | +3.76 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | Musashi | +2.68 | 77 | 42 |
| #3 | aw Latin | +1.49 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | glhf | -0.51 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | Kiekko | -1.11 | 65 | 44 |





