








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 699 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1217 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1377 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1917 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,807 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 55% | 170 |
| #2 | Musashi | 53% | 112 |
| #3 | [DE] Iokly | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | glhf | 49% | 179 |
| #5 | Kiekko | 49% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | [DE] Iokly | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | glhf | 49% | 179 |
| #5 | Kiekko | 49% | 135 |
| #6 | TM26 | 35% | 23 |
| #7 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glhf | 21 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Musashi | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Kiekko | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | TM26 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 286 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kiekko | 279 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | glhf | 248 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Musashi | 147 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | 85 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | +4.03 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | TM26 | +3.82 | 49 | 65 |
| #3 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | +3.64 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | Musashi | +2.55 | 75 | 44 |
| #5 | glhf | +0.26 | 66 | 48 |





