








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 781 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1018 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1548 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 741 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,347 of utility $281 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 643 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gr4ve666 | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Kiekko | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | Musashi | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | glhf | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gr4ve666 | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Kiekko | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | Musashi | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | glhf | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | gr4ve666 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Musashi | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Kiekko | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gr4ve666 | 239 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | 199 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Musashi | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kiekko | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | glhf | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Musashi | +1.98 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | (づ ̄3 ̄)づ | +1.86 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | gr4ve666 | +0.97 | 52 | 77 |
| #4 | aw Latin | +0.32 | 71 | 53 |
| #5 | Kiekko | -1.14 | 59 | 42 |





