










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 168 | 26% |
| Smokes | 148 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 149 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,707 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L-Capowned Sr. | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Donkey Sr. | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Idle™ | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Jerkstar Sr. | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | tazrod | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | tazrod | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | mrkaiu109 | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | Jerkstar Jr. | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Naddelx3 | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | Ad0nis der Bäinis Sr. | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey Sr. | 32 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #2 | Jerkstar Jr. | 16 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #3 | Jerkstar Sr. | 7 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | L-Capowned Sr. | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Naddelx3 | 3 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Idle™ | +12.43 | 97 | 50 |
| #2 | Jerkstar Sr. | +11.50 | 56 | 65 |
| #3 | Donkey Sr. | +6.00 | 61 | 63 |
| #4 | L-Capowned Sr. | +2.91 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | Jerkstar Jr. | +2.62 | 58 | 70 |





