








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4682 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7898 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4332 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5366 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,708,401 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 710 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mave | 49% | 417 |
| #2 | $timp¥ | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | npol20 | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | rdlf | 49% | 142 |
| #5 | Peater555 | 48% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiRT4P | 22 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Fr1ďo | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Mave | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Patres | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Mister Fleš | 10 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mave | 379 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #2 | rdlf | 339 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fr1ďo | 298 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mister Fleš | 228 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | Patres | 225 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | npol20 | +2.35 | 61 | 62 |
| #2 | $timp¥ | +1.94 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | Mave | +1.29 | 41 | 60 |
| #4 | KiRT4P | +0.90 | 59 | 47 |
| #5 | Fr1ďo | +0.76 | 33 | 59 |





