








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1938 | 41% |
| Smokes | 570 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1305 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 890 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,998 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 785 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bekky | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | hadiyo | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | kez | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | OkuriYuritza | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | PoopFart69 | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PoopFart69 | 55% | 31 |
| #6 | poe | 54% | 247 |
| #7 | 1mega | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | nigga sexy 352 | 48% | 124 |
| #9 | g4med1 | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | 69 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | nigga sexy 352 | 31 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | g4med1 | 31 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | bekky | 12 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | PoopFart69 | 9 | 0.0138 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | 1187 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #2 | PoopFart69 | 149 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | g4med1 | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | kez | 78 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | nigga sexy 352 | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | +6.95 | 92 | 61 |
| #2 | OkuriYuritza | +3.64 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | bekky | +1.99 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | PoopFart69 | +1.42 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | kez | +1.33 | 78 | 54 |





