








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 414 | 22% |
| Smokes | 249 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 795 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 393 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,195 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hadiyo | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | OkuriYuritza | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | 1mega | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | poe | 51% | 193 |
| #5 | g4med1 | 49% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 1mega | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | poe | 51% | 193 |
| #5 | g4med1 | 49% | 111 |
| #6 | King Fahd Esports | 48% | 124 |
| #7 | PoopFart69 | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | 57 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | g4med1 | 32 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | King Fahd Esports | 30 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | PoopFart69 | 10 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | 1mega | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | 948 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #2 | King Fahd Esports | 190 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | g4med1 | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | PoopFart69 | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | OkuriYuritza | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | +7.07 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | OkuriYuritza | +3.21 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | King Fahd Esports | -0.55 | 86 | 41 |
| #4 | nigga sexy 352 | -0.69 | 61 | 26 |
| #5 | g4med1 | -1.30 | 67 | 45 |





