








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1427 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1739 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,550 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay strapped | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | OzRuK | 58% | 77 |
| #3 | kael | 56% | 228 |
| #4 | sigmowich | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | zabujca | 55% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kael | 56% | 228 |
| #4 | sigmowich | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | zabujca | 55% | 47 |
| #6 | no thoughts head empty | 53% | 111 |
| #7 | JOGOAT | 50% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kael | 111 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | JOGOAT | 24 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | no thoughts head empty | 21 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | OzRuK | 16 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | stay strapped | 12 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kael | 871 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | no thoughts head empty | 163 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | sigmowich | 160 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | OzRuK | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | stay strapped | 92 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zabujca | +3.01 | 70 | 40 |
| #2 | kael | +2.64 | 55 | 45 |
| #3 | stay strapped | +0.62 | 13 | 40 |
| #4 | OzRuK | +0.61 | 42 | 58 |
| #5 | sigmowich | -0.43 | 42 | 64 |





