








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 343 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1310 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3793 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 2512 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,344,514 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zabujca | 59% | 75 |
| #2 | OzRuK | 56% | 109 |
| #3 | kael | 52% | 457 |
| #4 | stay strapped | 51% | 117 |
| #5 | Vumr3 | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | stay strapped | 51% | 117 |
| #5 | Vumr3 | 50% | 36 |
| #6 | no thoughts head empty | 50% | 278 |
| #7 | Veko | 50% | 135 |
| #8 | sigmowich | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kael | 259 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | no thoughts head empty | 52 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Veko | 48 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | stay strapped | 30 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | OzRuK | 29 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kael | 1898 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | no thoughts head empty | 418 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | sigmowich | 273 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Veko | 263 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | OzRuK | 231 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zabujca | +2.86 | 66 | 41 |
| #2 | kael | +2.65 | 55 | 40 |
| #3 | stay strapped | +0.25 | 13 | 29 |
| #4 | Veko | +0.12 | 65 | 37 |
| #5 | OzRuK | +0.03 | 33 | 57 |





