








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1488 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1127 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1071 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1033 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,682 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bathroom | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | The Chunkster | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 49% | 126 |
| #4 | Craftrics | 48% | 139 |
| #5 | BackToBack | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 49% | 126 |
| #4 | Craftrics | 48% | 139 |
| #5 | BackToBack | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | fueg0 | 46% | 137 |
| #7 | Datflyingfish | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fueg0 | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Craftrics | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Big Bathroom | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | BackToBack | 4 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fueg0 | 523 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Craftrics | 441 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 289 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | BackToBack | 63 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Big Bathroom | 25 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BackToBack | +3.92 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Craftrics | +2.02 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | +1.17 | 52 | 70 |
| #4 | Big Bathroom | +0.97 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | The Chunkster | +0.00 | 48 | 56 |





