








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2375 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1404 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1869 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 486 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,169 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bathroom | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | B19 H055 | 48% | 139 |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 46% | 127 |
| #4 | fueg0 | 45% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bathroom | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | B19 H055 | 48% | 139 |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 46% | 127 |
| #4 | fueg0 | 45% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fueg0 | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | B19 H055 | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Big Bathroom | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fueg0 | 534 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | B19 H055 | 355 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 294 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Big Bathroom | 25 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craftrics | +1.57 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | B19 H055 | +1.29 | 52 | 70 |
| #3 | Big Bathroom | +0.64 | 75 | 51 |
| #4 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | -0.67 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | fueg0 | -2.68 | 36 | 64 |





