








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 210 | 20% |
| Smokes | 448 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 252 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,735 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Craftrics | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | fueg0 | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Datflyingfish | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Craftrics | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | fueg0 | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Datflyingfish | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craftrics | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | fueg0 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Datflyingfish | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craftrics | 120 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | fueg0 | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 85 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 74 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Datflyingfish | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craftrics | +2.10 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | B19 H055 | +1.30 | 55 | 75 |
| #3 | Big Bathroom | +0.20 | 75 | 51 |
| #4 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | -0.15 | 50 | 57 |
| #5 | fueg0 | -2.47 | 46 | 67 |





