








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
50 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17 | 13% |
| Smokes | 44 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 40 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 28 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,375 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bathroom | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | Craftrics | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | fueg0 | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bathroom | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 33% | 9 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | Craftrics | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | fueg0 | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bathroom | 2 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | B19 H055 | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fueg0 | 32 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Craftrics | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Big Bathroom | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B19 H055 | +3.27 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Craftrics | +1.70 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | +1.46 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | Big Bathroom | -0.52 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | Datflyingfish | -2.99 | 38 | 29 |





