








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 957 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1477 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 747 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 974 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,908 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bathroom | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | BackToBack | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 49% | 126 |
| #4 | Craftrics | 46% | 127 |
| #5 | fueg0 | 45% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BackToBack | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 49% | 126 |
| #4 | Craftrics | 46% | 127 |
| #5 | fueg0 | 45% | 120 |
| #6 | Datflyingfish | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fueg0 | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | B19 H055 | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Craftrics | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Big Bathroom | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | BackToBack | 2 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fueg0 | 445 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Craftrics | 409 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | B19 H055 | 317 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | BackToBack | 54 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Big Bathroom | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BackToBack | +4.77 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Craftrics | +1.92 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | B19 H055 | +1.35 | 52 | 71 |
| #4 | Big Bathroom | +1.17 | 76 | 55 |
| #5 | Quesadilla Explosion Salad | -0.64 | 53 | 58 |





